Reflect on a moment (or event, or person, or..?) in your life that has played a significant role in shaping who you are today

The next thing I knew, I was sitting next to the one I loved in the ICU.  His eyes were shut and his hair was still perfectly combed, although it seemed he was hooked up to every possible machine. We all prayed for a miracle. I pleaded, “Just open your eyes buddy. You can do it. Come on Mae. You can’t leave us yet.” Unfortunately, there was no miracle. On July 12, 2014, I said goodbye to Mason. I held his hand, stroked his hair, gave him one last kiss on his forehead and told him that I would always love him.

I had known Mason since pre-school.  As we aged, we became closer and eventually fell in love. My life revolved around Mason. What I wore, what I was doing, everything I did was always an attempt to impress him. We had so much in common. Our relationship was going perfectly, until I lost him.

In the months that followed, I could not stop thinking about him and how much I missed him. My life had changed and I didn’t know how to deal with it. I recall one morning last fall after about three months had passed, my alarm clock went off at its usual time, 6:30am. I went to my closet to pick out an outfit, but nothing seemed to look right. One outfit after another I tried on, ripped off and threw on the ground. There were just too many memories with Mason attached to them. Grief overwhelmed me. I stormed around, slammed doors, and screamed like a child. I dove back into my bed, bit into my pillow and cried, thinking I had the worst life. My room was a complete disaster, and so was I. After a few hours had passed, I finally regrouped and realized that I couldn’t do this to myself any longer; just sitting in bed and crying all day wouldn’t bring Mason back. At that moment, I decided I would make a change. I needed to find ways to make myself happy and get back on a productive path.

A year later, I am sitting in the front of my AP Statistics class with my notebook out and a pencil in my hand, ready to learn. I look down at the “Mason” bracelet on my wrist, and remind myself that I can do this. I am no longer able rely on Mason, but he inspires me to be determined and to work hard to achieve my goals. I am a stronger person today, mentally, emotionally and academically. More resilient and self-reliant, I am now in control of my own destiny. I look forward to college and continuing my transition to adulthood.